


Turning Points #4 — Avengers is a Lame Name for a Boy Band Anyway

by Idle_Hans



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24905533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idle_Hans/pseuds/Idle_Hans
Kudos: 8





	Turning Points #4 — Avengers is a Lame Name for a Boy Band Anyway

_Iron Man: Yes. Tony Stark: Not Recommended._

What, did Fury really think Tony didn't know how to read between the lines? As much as that conclusion hurt to read, Tony could see the logic of it. Hell, he even agreed with the logic of it.

SHIELD wanted Iron Man for obvious reasons, but they didn't want Tony Stark because they had no good way to keep him on a leash. Barton and Romanoff were SHIELD already; Banner needed a patron to stand between him and Thaddeus Ross; Rogers was probably legally dead, and even more probably had no current ID with a believable birth date on it that hadn't been handed to him by Hill or Fury. Leaving aside Thor whose inclusion was clearly unforeseen and _ad hoc_ , that left Tony as the one loose cannon.

So how do you ride herd on a billionaire? Tony knew the answer to that one: he'd lived through it during the palladium crisis. Corporate espionage; withholding from a dying man even the _knowledge_ of a treatment until a strategically useful moment; house arrest without a warrant; threats of tasering as a method of ensuring compliance. Then you follow up with a bait and switch, dangling Avengers membership in front of him before swapping it out for a report painting him in the worst possible light, so that he'll come scurrying after you begging to be part of your band of heroes like the kid who never gets picked for anyone's team.

No thanks to more of that. A gutful will do, really.

For world-threatening crises he'd answer the phone. For everything else, Iron Man was staying a solo act.

* * *

  
"Tony Stark, not recommended. Plus all the other lovely things that report said about me. Either it was bullshit, or it was accurate. Let's start with bullshit. If it was _deliberate_ bullshit then you were showing it to me and to Rogers as psychological warfare. You see me as a problem to be defeated; and Rogers as someone to help you beat me into submission. That sounds like we'd have an absolutely delightful working relationship, Nick. 

"If it was inadvertant bullshit, then the author was incompetent," and here Tony flicked a glance at Romanoff, "the person who _assigned_ the author was incompetent," Tony flicked a glance at Coulson before locking eyes (so to speak) with Fury, "and the person who only just realised that, is not at the top of their game. Incompetence gives me the hives. It's why I hate Justin Hammer but respect Hank Pym.

"But if the report is _accurate_ and you want me onboard anyway, then you are completely crazy because I would be the kind of trouble that's going to blow up very loudly in your, and everyone else's, face. For the sake of the world, I'll pass."

"You know what's out there, Stark!" barked Fury. "Trouble's coming."

"Yes, I know," replied Tony. "I"m the one who saw what was on the other side of the portal and shared the footage with you, remember?"

Stark got up, and walked to the door.

"Believe me, I will be working that problem. But I will be working it with people who share information, not hide it. Who I can trust to have my back, not stab me in the neck."

He opened the door and stepped through. Just before closing it, he added, "Good day, Avengers. It's been an experience."


End file.
